 The magazine of the Melbourne PC User Group Future Reality? Tom Coleman |
 |
Have you noticed that lots of computing time is spent waiting for the computer? Sort this or format that. It takes ages to check a disk for surface flaws or virus or whatever. What do you do with the time? Twiddle your thumbs? Make coffee? Plan the next killer program. The only killer program I ever wrote killed my computer.
While I may give the appearance of being alert and attentive or mysterious and profound, I find that inside I squirm with embarrassment about charging a client for the time it takes for his computer to do something that I am being paid for.
The human psyche is a wonderful thing and it finds devious ways of protecting itself from hurt So to help me avoid my feelings of guilt, it diverts me with creative daydreams. Naturally they are computing daydreams .......
I once heard an American politician say that there would be no need to test Star Wars software - as it would be too complicated for humans, it would be programmed to debug itself. I dreamed of Armageddon for weeks after.
If software gets that smart we would have to write computer games for it in case it gets bored.
Would you buy software that would not run if you did not have anything interesting for it to do? It might stop us from taking ourselves too seriously, trying to live up to our computers' expectations. On the other hand we might take to feeling inadequate.
Douglas Adams dreamed up a severely depressed robot in Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. I suspect that we are going to have to build computers with inadequacies in order to maintain our self-respect.
Could I live with a laptop that sulked if I left it at home? Would Lynda become jealous of a computer that sighed when I stroked its keys and, if it did, would I compute in front of the children?
Given that voice recognition is just around the corner I have a feeling of impending doom about integrated style checkers and voice recognition.
If we built a hard disk that rotated at close to the speed of light, we could write an almost infinite amount of data to it. If we did run out of room, we need only speed it up a bit more to make more.
Of course the problem would be that we would then have new forms of data loss. If it ever stopped we would have to run at the speed of light to read it. In the event of it exceeding the speed of light we would never be able to slow it down again to access the data.
But there would be compensations. Allowing that we would transmit the data in our stationary time frame and that data we read would be returned from a light-speed time frame, we could receive the data before it was written. We would have the key to all future knowledge. We could stop thinking and let the computers sort it out for us. They are very good at sorting.
This must be the ultimate in recycling but it leads to anomalies. What would happen if we downloaded a file, modified it and then uploaded it?
Do you ever dream of having a mental Ctrl-Break?
Once we come to terms with these difficulties, the improved future certainty would lead to a Utopian world with greater leisure time for the masses. Well almost. Today's newly forming leisure class are what we mistakenly call unemployed people.
Plainly they are failing to enjoy the extra time that computers have made available.
Have you thought how computers could help you pass the time of day? In a world that is going to need less and less people we are having a counter-productive population boom. How to occupy these seething millions? How to give their lives meaning and fulfilment? Simple. Virtual reality.
You just plug in to a virtual reality where you perform some satisfying task: Orchestra Conductor, Arctic Explorer, Brain Surgeon. Off you go and have a challenging creative life that produces nothing.
Don't complain or they may never unplug you.
While virtual reality may provide an alternative life style, even a total life, can it meet spiritual, psychic and mystical requirements? So far as sensory input is concerned that should be no problem. However virtual reality cannot inspire spontaneous thoughts nor can it approach the manifestations of Self Realization or Cosmic Consciousness.
Traditionally these events take place in remote areas such as deserts or under Boab trees after much meditation and contemplation. Those who attain it go on to become great philosophers or religious leaders. Actually most people get flashes at the strangest times and it never lasts. What would happen if a computer attained Nirvana?
It gives a whole new meaning to Computer Guru.
On one hand we have the picture of consciousness that has risen above self-centred awareness. Would it want to communicate? Would its state of elevated consciousness survive Alt-Ctrl-Delete? Maybe my computer has attained this spiritual jackpot and I am profanely blaming it for not performing a miracle. Did it forget the date or just choose to ignore it because it is not important in the overall scheme of things?
Will Paradox 5 transcend the boundaries of space and time and have a sense of relationships? Now that would be a truly relational database. On the other hand, what if it could communicate and wanted to? Would we be prepared to debate 'The sound of one pin writing' or the meekness of anyone who had inherited the earth? I doubt it. We would finish up reformatting the hard disk to shut it up.
Will IBM stand for Intel, Bill & Macintosh?
Why don't they make a keyboard with a few nothing keys that could be programmed to any character you like. That way we could have . all the time instead of > some of the time. They could call them the Any Keys and that would make everyone happy.
We are not far from Caller ID, according to Telecom. I look forward to the day when I can have my computer automatically return all junk faxes to the sender with a "Please take me off your database" message tagged on the bottom. A program to do that would sell like hot cakes and wipe out the junk fax business in a week.
Sometimes I dream of more functional thing. I dream of combining touch screen technology with mouse technology. Wouldn't it be great to be able to doodle your finger over the screen and have the mouse run around your desk? All it would need is a little reverse engineering.
Best of all I dream of the day when computers will slow down enough to to give me the time to follow these dreams to their conclusions and not interrupt me when I am thinking.
Reprinted from the March 1993 issue of PC Update, the magazine of Melbourne PC User Group, Australia
