 The magazine of the Melbourne PC User Group CPU (Club President's Update) Colin Lovitt colinl@melbpc.org.au |
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The new monthly meeting venue will be at the Pharmacy College, 381 Royal Parade, Parkville. It is directly opposite Optus Oval (home of the Mighty Blues to the incogniscenti!) and two tram stops further north of Clunies-Ross House. Parking should be easier and more plentiful than at our former venue. I am told the sound system is first class - I trust it pleases those who have messaged Ray Beatty and me about the deficiencies at Clunies-Ross. We looked at quite a number of possible venues and chose the Pharmacy College because it was likely to suit those who attended Clunies-Ross, was bigger, and reasonably priced. We aim to ensure that the facilities outstrip our old venue. Please address all feedback to Ray Beatty on the BBS or via the office.
The Melbas
Sadly, my work took me away from Melbourne for the week which included the August monthly meeting at the World Congress Centre. I understand it was a great success, what with Philippe Kahn, CompuServe, and the inaugural Melba awards. Reckon on the Melbas becoming a feature attraction of the Melb PC scene. Hearty congratulations to Ray Beatty (the bloke with the bow tie as he was called recently on the board), and the PC Update team, especially Ash Nallawalla and Peter Smith, for organising the Melbas.
Bulk Modem Deal
At the World Congress Centre, sysop Barry McMenomy announced a new bulk deal for 14,400 fax/modems. The price was to be $400. Since then, we have witnessed a price-cutting war at the PC94 Show, resulting in the same modem selling for less than $400, and other modems of a similar type for less than $300! Time for us to take a deep breath and wait for the dust to settle. We will then be able to announce an offer which will not be matched anywhere. Another modem is currently being tested, and we will wait for Barry to return from ONE BBSCON in Atlanta early in September. In the meantime, please do not contact the office for details as the offer has been placed on hold for several weeks. Expect an announcement during the second or third week of September.
Members' Survey
This edition of PC Update contains the much-heralded survey which we hope to utilise in marketing the Group, together with planning the future for Melb PC. It is vital that as many members as possible complete and forward it to the Freepost address on the back page of the survey. The document is in the form of a detached insert in the magazine, so if you have carelessly tossed it away without examination, please retrieve it and fill it out at your leisure.
Many hours have been spent refining the questions and simplifying the nature of the responses sought. May I pay a special tribute to Peter Freeman, Gary Taig, Ash Nallawalla, Peter Smith and Barry McMenomy for their suggestions and nit-picking. :-)
In addition, we received considerable assistance and advice from a member who answered my call for help - Ross Parkhowell. His expertise in marketing has proved invaluable; his patient re-working of questions, formatting, and simplification have made our clumsy efforts look good. Well - I reckon they look good! . Ross kept at me to reduce the size of the survey. He partially succeeded. If Gary had had his way, we would have had a survey that filled the entire magazine! .
Please feel free to respond candidly. We are not simply seeking accolades. We genuinely want to know what we can do better and what other services we should be offering. In addition, we need a little demographic information to facilitate better bulk hardware deals and selling advertising in the magazine. Please remember that the survey is anonymous. We are not interested in a member's personal details, simply our combined buying power.
Mea Culpa
Last month I quoted Peter Byrne's generous remarks to Ash about both the Internet service and Melb PC in general. I said there that he was at the time in the US getting married!. After a series of good-humoured responses from both Peter and his daughter, Lisa, I have to admit that I got it wrong - it was another BBS user, one Peter Ryan, who had tied the knot! Peter B. has kindly waived any legal action, though Lisa is still wondering if he has been entirely frank with her. It led to her suggestion that this column be renamed Gastric Gossip!
Name This Space
Predictably, suggestions to rename this page have been largely tongue-in-cheek. There have even been a few who have had a shot at my BBS pseudonym, my occupation, and even me! .
Lawyer baiters emerged with the following: On a slightly serious note - Late Briefs; Prior Convictions (think I've heard that before somewhere); Leading Questions (I am not leading the witness, simply telling him what to say!); Our Learned Leader (bloody crawler!); Sentence.dock (a commentary, no doubt, on my strike rate); BBS Lore; The Recidivist (I'm still thinking about that one).
Still talking law, on a slightly less serious note (I trust) - Bulls... from the Bar (thanks, Bob T.); Crusty Counsellor Claude's Cantankerous Crap (the actual Peter Ryan, alias Woodstock). These BBS guys have no respect! .
Regarding my pseudonym (Claude Balls), I got the most laughs:- Claude Bawls (in the words of noted BBS wordsmith, John Talbot - most apposite); Claude's Balls-Ups; Claude 'Ere (I think Jack Dyer pinched that one); and my favourite - I, Claudius. The less said about Bytes of Balls the better!
Someone who shall remain nameless, but his initials are Bob Thomas, even suggested retaining the current acronym, reworked to read Claude's Pathetic Utterances (he might have said Pithy!); and another from Bob was Claude's Caustic Catechism! Someone else who couldn't spell but professed to wish to retain the acronym suggested Claude's Personal Eulogy. Woodstock chimed in with a similar idea, substituting Effluent!
I was particularly pleased to see a number of suggestions emphasising the alleged autocratic nature of my personality:- Lovitt or Leave It (so predictable that three different respondents offered this); I'm the President - and You're Not! (with apologies to Rex); From the Bunker (I know the feeling!); From the Eagle's Nest (Louis Bokor later suggested Droppings from the Eagle's Nest); CL Sees All (I like the boy!).
Incapable of categorisation were:- Rubbish.Doc, and for OS/2 HPFS users - Excrement.Doc (very droll); and Floppy Drive (!!!). An anonymous note in my folder at the Melb PC office contained a torn piece of paper, on which was simply scrawled Call it "SmellChecker" ;-) And another BBSer was obviously so taken with my predecessor's Panama that he suggested I have my photo taken wearing a Sidney Greenstreet special and call the page The Prez with the Fez!
Let's leave the competition open for another month and see what develops.
It's been fun - so far.
Reprinted from the September 1994 issue of PC Update, the magazine of Melbourne PC User Group, Australia
